Plan 365-day 7

Plan 365


Day Seven

9/13/2011

Dear Diary,



Ah!! I’m beginning to see over the horizon, it is still but a glimmer of light in my sight, but a glimmer no less. I can feel the transition begin. It’s almost like I’m that caterpillar fighting through the cocoon. It’s interesting how in everything there is a perfect time or season. The caterpillar needs to fight through that cocoon to build strength to be able to fly on its own. If the cocoon breaks too early damage can be done. In the beginning I’m sure the caterpillar feels suffocated and unaware that this thing that he has become barricaded in is the one thing that’s going to give him wings. He hates it and probably cannot see far past that current situation to see the view. That caterpillar is me, young and restless suffocated by all the excuses and lies that I have succumbed to believe about who I was and what I could accomplish. Boggled and ran down by my own lack of desire. I believed I could not fly, that I could not accomplish anything, that I always start something and never finish, I’m known for that. But this is my new season and I’m fighting through my cocoon getting a little stronger each day. Learning a little more about myself and how I can push a little harder. I can run a little faster and I can do one push-up the correct way. Laughing at myself at my pride in my measly little accomplishment of a push-up, but it’s the start. The start of a new chapter and new part of my life where exercise and health take priority over couch and hot cheetoos! Yes I said it. There was a time where I ate fast food lunch, a snack when I got home (usually not healthy) and two dinners. I had no self control and I ate just to eat and ate whatever I wanted telling myself well at least I’m happy. I was lying to myself. I was not happy, I was leading myself to believe that I liked being a certain way, that I like being thick as I would say. Truth is I hated it. Slimming down now for the right reasons keeps me encouraged.

Within my desire to change my health it has sprung a desire to change my insides. God is at the center where I know he has given me an extra amount of love for people. Sometimes I love it and other times, I’m like “Gees! This person doesn’t deserve me to be nice to them!” But I don’t deserve a lot of the grace I have been given, but it’s a gift and I accept it and will give it to others. So today I stopped having an attitude with someone that in my book deserved it. I will approach them with kindness and gentleness, even when it hurts and I want to retaliate.

I feel that soon I will be that caterpillar that breaks out of the cocoon and becomes a beautiful butterfly that spreads its wings and flies. But my transformation will not just be evident on the outside, but through the inside the outside will shine!



Day Seven complete!